


You May have Saved Me

by shadowintheKnight



Category: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Possibly Triggering, Sadness, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Spider-Man - Freeform, depressed, trigger warning, warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5903869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowintheKnight/pseuds/shadowintheKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(TASM 2 spoilers!) Peter was never the same after Gwen's death. He missed her and would do anything to be with her... He was about to be with her again, but someone got in the way. This may be just what he needed. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Self harm, suicidal tendencies</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a dream about this and I was like: hmmm that would be a good idea for a story so thus this was born! I hope you guys like it and today I have just been in the writing mood so two updates in one day! :D It’s that kind of day!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the Avengers or Spider-Man, unfortunately :( I wish…

Peter couldn’t take it anymore. Everything appeared black and white, all the joy in the world was gone. Every since Gwen died he felt nothing, Aunt May tried to get him to open up and be his old self again, but he just couldn’t. No matter where he turned he thought of Gwen, her beautiful smile, shining hair, exuberant personality… That was all that was on his mind as he wandered around the streets of New York at night. This certainly wasn’t the safest idea, but he really didn’t care. He knew if Gwen was here she would be scolding him for not living his life, but Gwen was his life…

As he made his way further and further from his home Peter’s thoughts took a dark turn. If he couldn’t bring Gwen back he might as well join her, that way they can be together again. He found a pretty tall building and climbed up the side spidey style, not caring if anyone saw. It’s not like it would matter anyways since he wouldn’t be here for that much longer. 

Standing on the edge of the building Peter thought about the one thing he would regret: leaving his Aunt behind. She had already lost her husband, this would certainly break her even more so. Unfortunately Peter couldn’t find it in his heart to care, Gwen was all that consumed him. 

Sighing he looked at the skyline of the city for one last time. There was a little nag in his heart that told him maybe this wasn’t the right thing to do, but he quickly buried that thought. 

He closed his eyes as he lifted one foot and took the step that would bring him back to Gwen. The sensation of falling reminded him of his Spider-Man antics which reminded him what a failure he was. All he did was get people hurt… 

The distance didn’t look that high from the ledge, but when actually falling it seemed as if time slowed down. Expecting an impact in the next second or so Peter hugged himself tight. 

He felt something slam into him and then he felt as if he was flying. He didn’t think death would feel like this…

__________________________

Lounging on his massive ‘deck’ Tony Stark was watching the New York skyline in a reclining cushion chair. He loved to sit and admire the city that never sleeps. Bright lights all over the place and screams of joy could be heard throughout the night. Nothing could ruin this perfect night… 

He looked around and froze when he saw a young man standing on the ledge of a building near his tower. He seemed to be having an internal battle, but made up his mind. As soon as Tony saw the kid lift his foot he deployed the latest version of his suit and dove off the side of his tower. The kid was falling fast, but Tony knew he would make it in time to save the kid. 

He caught the kid and felt bad about the bruises the kid was going to have, but then remembered that would be a big improvement from pancake on the sidewalk. 

Once he had the kid secure he flew back to his deck and placed him down. The kid didn’t open his eyes though… 

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” Tony yelled to snap the kid out of it. 

_________________________

Peter’s eyes flew open when he heard someone yell at him. He was definitely not expecting to be looking at Iron Man, aka Tony Stark. The guy was one of his biggest idols! 

“Well… I… uh…” Peter was at a loss for words and couldn’t put together a cohesive sentence. Honestly how are you suppose to say: ‘oh yeah I was just trying to kill myself, which you interrupted by the way, to be with my girlfriend’.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a bit but I'll make sure to add a few more chapter this weekend :P  
> -ShadowintheKnight

Peter racked his brain for some excuse that would seem plausible. Being in front of someone he admired made his brain turn to mush and it was hard to come up with something. He had an idea in mind, but it was a little weary and probably wouldn’t fool Tony. It was worth a shot though.

“Sleepwalking.” Peter said, disturbing the awkward silence. 

“Really kid?” Tony asked in udder disbelief. 

“I have a pretty extreme case. My doctor said I have the most extreme case he has every seen. I mean if this is nothing to prove by it. I guess my Aunt forgot to lock the door.” Peter said with a surprisingly unwavering voice. 

“Cut the bullshit.” Tony demanded, clearly not in the mood. 

“I’m serious! I’ve actually had to go to the hospital on multiple occasions because I have gotten hurt while sleepwalking.” Peter didn’t know where these lies kept coming from, but they sounded good to him. 

“Kid I know what sleepwalking looks like and you most certainly don’t suffer from it.” Tony sighed. 

“Well you might want to tell my doctor that.” Peter retorted, not giving up his facade. 

“I have security cameras all over the place. Should we watch the tape?” Tony challenged. 

Peter froze. He knew he was busted and there was no escaping from telling the truth. Honestly he wasn’t scared about Tony finding out about him being Spider-Man, but he didn’t want to remind himself what a failure he was. He couldn’t even kill himself properly… 

“Fine. It was what it looked like so I’ll just be getting back to it.” Peter sighed. He knew Tony would never let him go, but might as well try. 

“Oh no kid you’re not going anywhere.” Tony grabbed him by the wrist and ushered him inside. 

Peter was not expecting to see all the Avengers lounging on a giant couch that stretched for miles. 

“Finally decide to come back to the land of the living eh Stark?” Clint asked glancing over towards the door. “And somehow you go out alone and come in with another person…” 

As Clint said that everyone turned towards them and looked straight at Peter. Peter shifted around, uncomfortable with having all the attention on himself. 

“I was actually just leaving…” Peter trailed off heading towards the elevator that he spotted as soon as he stepped into the room. 

“Not happening kid. We have to talk about your little escapade.” Tony sounded serious so the others knew it must be big. 

“What he do? Try to sneak into the building? That wouldn’t be a first, but then again you never brought any of the other people up here so that’s not it. Did he videotape you lounging outside? Oh boy that’s gotta be it!” Clint gave off rapid fire suggestions. 

“Neither! Now shut up Clint!” Tony yelled with a roll of his eyes. Clint huffed and crossed his arms. 

“There is nothing to talk about! I just want to go home now so I’m leaving!” Peter shouted and stalked over to the stairs because he knew they would be faster to get away than the elevator. 

“Oh no you’re not!” Tony ran and caught Peter’s arm in a tight grip which wasn’t a match for Peter’s strength. “Thor I need your help!”

Thor got up from the couch quickly and easily subdued Peter, who he caught up to two flights down. Peter struggled in Thor’s grip even though his strength was nothing compared to Thor’s. 

“Put me down!” Peter yelled while twisting and kicking his dangling legs. 

“I’m sorry kid, but the Man of Iron sounds serious so something big must have happened. I can’t let you go.” Thor talked in a soothing voice hoping to lull the kid into a calmer state, but it was loud anyways. 

Thor brought Peter back into the main room where the rest of the Avengers were waiting for them. They were all looking at him curiously, minus Tony, as though they were trying to figure out what was wrong. Peter didn’t meet any of their eyes and decided to stare off into space. 

“Kid I’m just trying to help you. Please let me- let us help you.” Tony pleaded. 

“I don’t need any help. I knew what I was doing! I was finally going to be happy again, but you ruined it!” Peter yelled, still in Thor’s arms. He could feel tears leaking down his face, but he couldn’t wipe them away since his arms were restrained. Peter started to feel exhausted so he laid his head on Thor’s shoulder and was out in seconds. 

“Uh… the kid fell asleep.” Thor stated so he went over to the couch and laid the child on the couch and made sure he had a pillow and blanket. 

“What exactly did you find him doing Tony?” Bruce asked quietly. Bruce had a good idea in mind from the pieces of conversation, but he hoped he was wrong. 

“He was…” Tony actually choked up a little. “He was trying to kill himself.” 

Everyone froze at that and Bruce just looked sadly at the kid, wondering what drove him to this point. 

“Why don’t we go to bed and take turns keeping watch?” Thor suggested from the back. 

“Sounds good. I’ll take first watch.” Tony sighed as he sat down next to Peter on the long couch. He unconsciously started to weave his fingers through the boys hair. “YOu know I just realized that we don’t even know the kids name.” 

“That will be the first thing we ask tomorrow. I’ll take second watch.” Steve spoke barely above a whisper and nodded to everyone. 

They each made their way to their rooms while Tony sat on the couch still running his hands through the tousled brown hair of the kid he was going to save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like how this is going so far :)   
> -ShadowintheKnight


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all I'm sorry it's been a while, but I'm trying to get back into the grove again and post a lot.   
> I hope people continue to read and like this fic :)   
> ALSO~ I wrote this a while ago so I definitely need to go through and edit but I have up to 21 chapters saved because this is on fanfiction.net and I'm transferring it over. I know I'll need to go through though haha   
> ~ShadowintheKnight

Peter unconsciously went to turn off his alarm on the table next to his bed and was surprised when his hand hit nothing. He bolted up and took in his surroundings. He was on a luxurious bed that could probably fit five people comfortably, a nice view out the window, and more luxurious looking furniture. The TV was the best part, it stretched across most of the back wall and had Peter drooling. He was snapped out of this state when he remembered what happened the other night. He mentally started to curse and jumped out of the warm bed. He found his backpack on a chair in the room and started to head towards the door when he heard voices outside. 

“You think the kid will be awake yet? I couldn’t get any sleep. I kept worrying about him.” Tony asked his science bro. 

“Hopefully he is.” 

Peter dropped his bag and dove back into the bed and pretended to sleep. He knew his chances of getting caught were high since no one ever got away with fake sleeping. But he might as well try so he could avoid all the questions and looks of disappointment. Peter heard the door open and tried to appear as relaxed as possible.

“He still appears to be sleeping,” Bruce noted.

“Oh come on Bruce, for a scientist you're not very observant. He’s obviously awake, his shoulders are too tense to actually be asleep,” Tony pointed out. 

Peter silently cursed when he heard Tony say that. 

“Wakey wakey kiddo. I’m going to belly-flop on you if you don’t get up in the next ten seconds,” Tony goaded. 

“Tony!”

Peter sighed and sat up in the bed while glaring at Tony. Tony just smiled in return and gave Bruce a look that clearly said: I told you so. 

“Brunch is served so come to the kitchen. Also I wouldn't try to escape, I have JARVIS on kid lookout.” Tony warned Peter. “Which reminds me what’s your name? We’ve all just been calling you kid.” 

Peter just gave Tony a look of defiance. 

“I mean I could always have JARVIS scan you and then I’ll have your whole life on file.” 

“Peter.” Peter rolled his eyes at Tony’s antics. 

“No last name?” Bruce inquired. 

Peter didn’t know why, but he was hesitant to give them his last name. 

“Don’t worry Bruce, we’ll get it out of him later. Let the guy eat!” Tony exclaimed as he made his way to the kitchen with the two following. 

Peter looked everywhere except anyone’s eyes. He knew they were hoping he would talk first, but there was no way in hell that was happening. 

“Steve made pancakes, his specialty, so dig in,” Tony told Peter. “By the way guys, this is Peter.” 

Natasha raised her eyebrow at the lack of last name and was going to mention something until she got a silencing look from Tony. She shrugged in indifference and went back to reading the paper and drinking her coffee. 

Peter ate five pancakes in a minute and decided he should probably act a little more civil in the presence of others. He didn’t dare look up from his plate in case anyone was staring at him. After demolishing five more pancakes, this time in the span of three minutes, he picked up his plate and brought it to the sink. He started washing it when he heard a snicker from behind him. Turning around he saw Tony trying to cover his mouth with his hand and knew he was the culprit for laughing. 

“What?” Peter asked, aggravated. 

“JARVIS will handle the dishes. There is no need to wash it.” Tony laughed out. 

“Maybe I want to.” Peter shot back and turned to continue cleaning. 

“Tony leave him be. It’s nice to see someone so young acting with such nice mannerisms.” Steve appreciated Peter’s behavior. “How old are you?”

Peter knew they were trying to get information out of him, but he saw no harm in answering this innocent question. “Eighteen.” 

Peter looked over his shoulder and saw half of them wince. Of course Natasha and Clint were the only ones that didn’t express emotion, although Clint did have a set jaw. 

“Oh! Any college plans?” Tony asked excited to hear about Peter’s interests. 

“No.” 

Tony deflated a little and sunk further in the couch. Bruce patted the spot next to him, calling Peter over. 

“I think you know that we need to talk about last night.” Bruce said quietly as Peter made his way over and plopped into the couch. 

“And if I don’t want to?” Peter asked in a challenging tone. 

“Look Peter, we can’t let you go until we know that you aren’t going to attempt something again.” Steve sighed, wishing Peter would just accept their help. 

“So basically you are kidnapping me and putting me on suicide watch…” Peter deadpanned. Steve flinched at the word suicide. 

“You’re so young. We just want to show you that there is much to live for that you haven’t gotten to experience and won’t be able to if you…” Steve trailed off. 

“Why do you all care so much?! You don’t even know me!” Peter jumped up from the couch. 

Thor slyly inched closer to the door so he could block the only route of escape. 

“Peter please calm down. We just want to give you a chance! Think about it for a second: Tony found you for a reason. Fate has brought you to us.” Steve explained, trying to make Peter see reason. 

“Oh fate! Why didn’t you just say that in the first place!” Peter’s sarcasm was tangible. 

“Peter… Suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Bruce tried to make Peter see reason. 

“No. It would have been my savior and brought me to Gw…” Peter stopped dead in his tracks. He almost revealed why… 

“Gw?” Bruce inquired. 

“Nothing. Can I please go home? My Aunt has probably already called the police.” Peter asked as nicely as possible. 

“You know we can’t let you do that. I bet your Aunt doesn’t even know about your suicidal tendencies.” Bruce tried not to sound like he was talking down to Peter.

“Just give me her number and I’ll call her and tell her that you’re interning here now or something.” Tony said and held out his phone for Peter to take. 

Peter sighed and took the phone knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get out of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what y'all think :) I hope you continue to like it  
> ~ShadowintheKnight


	4. Chapter 4

Aunt May was ecstatic of course. She thought that Peter was finally starting to integrate back into the land of the living. She told him she’d pack his bag so it would be all ready by the time he got there and even packed a suit in case he needed to look good. 

“Well I’m going to pick up my stuff so I’ll be back in an hour or so.” Peter said as he grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He was hoping that they wouldn’t think anything of it and let him leave and then he wouldn’t come back. 

“Not so fast buckaroo.” Tony sprang from the couch and grabbed his jacket. 

“What is this buckaroo creature? Peter looks nothing like a buck and I don’t recall learning about roos.” Thor sounded confused as per usual when Tony used slang. 

“I’ve come to learn that it’s just an expression Thor. It’s not an actual thing.” Steve supplied from his seat at the island. 

Tony just rolled his eyes at their hopelessness. Although he had to admit that Steve was catching on pretty well for an old fellow. 

“Come on. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Tony signaled for Peter to follow him towards the elevator. 

“But Steve there is no popsicle stand, why would Man of Iron say that?” Thor was once again confused. 

“Really Tony!” Was the last thing they heard before the doors closed. Tony just chuckled at the predicament he left Steve in. 

Having Happy drive them to Peter’s house was a lot faster then what Peter originally planned: public transportation. Also smelled a lot better. 

“Nice place you got.” Tony commented as they arrived at the dinky house. 

“Yeah it is. Although compared to your uh- tower it’s nothing. I bet your personal bedroom is the size of my house. I already know your kitchen is the common room are since I’ve been in there.” Peter replied. 

“Well- I mean, I’m Tony Stark. Go big or go home, am I right?” 

Peter just rolled his eyes and got out of the car. He could see his neighbors looking through their windows in awe of the limo that pulled up in their run down neighborhood. Tony didn’t notice as he followed Peter inside. 

“Oh Peter, I’m so proud of you. I know Uncle Ben would be as well.” Aunt May hugged her nephew. “And you brought Tony Stark. You haven’t even started and I already get to meet your boss. If he gets in trouble just tell me and I’ll deal with him.” 

“Will do ma’am!” Tony managed to get out in between laughs. 

“So tell me again why he has to stay at the tower? Not that I’m not grateful for the opportunity you’re giving Peter, it’s just that I know I am going to miss not having him around.” Aunt May asked with a little sadness in her voice.

“I like my employees to be punctual and I realized that you guys live quite a bit away so I figured why not just allow him to stay. And don’t worry about not seeing Peter you can come by whenever you want. Just call me and I’ll send Happy to pick you up. We have a lot of game nights so feel free to join!” Tony cheerfully informed Aunt May. 

“Oh wonderful! Peter you are going to be in good hands!” Aunt May sounded so happy Peter gave her one of his rare smiles. He rarely did anymore, but he owed his Aunt who has given him everything. 

“I wish you would do that more often…” Aunt May sighed. 

“I… I know. I’m trying.” Peter faltered a bit. 

“I know honey. Maybe working for Tony will help you.” Aunt May hugged him one last time and saw the two gentlemen out. She made sure Peter didn’t forget anything and waved at them until the limo was out of sight. 

“Your Aunt is an amazing women. She clearly loves you a lot.” Tony commented five minutes into the ride ‘home’. 

“Yeah I know.” 

“I just can’t fathom why you would hurt your Aunt?” 

“I would never!” Peter exclaimed.

“What do you think your death would have done to her? And don’t think I didn’t hear about how your Uncle would have been proud!” Tony retaliated. 

“She would have realized that her life would be better without me just existing. That’s all I’m doing, existing! Not living, but existing…” Peter trailed off. 

“I think you underestimate how much she loves you.” Tony softened his tone. 

Peter couldn’t stop the waterworks that came after Tony said that. He started to turn towards the window, but Tony guided him towards his shoulder. So there Peter was in the back of a limo balling his eyes out on Tony Stark’s shoulder. Tony didn’t seem to mind that his jacket was soaking now, he just kept a comforting hand on Peter’s back. He started rubbing small circles on Peter’s back because he found it usually helped calm a person down. 

Tony felt Peter go limp and realized that he must have fallen asleep. He smiled at the sight of Peter’s face because it finally looked at peace. When Peter was awake his face always looked pained and sad. It broke Tony’s heart to see a child so young so broken. 

He was going to do anything he could to show Peter that life is worth living. He knows that it’s going to take a while, but everyone in need of help is worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all I hope you liked it :) I'll make sure to post another chapter tomorrow!  
> ~ShadowintheKnight


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter folks :) I hop y'all like it   
> ~ShadowintheKnight

When they arrived at the tower Tony didn’t have the heart to wake up Peter so he picked the kid up bridal style. He instructed Happy to park and then bring up Peter’s bags to the Avengers floor as soon as he could. 

As the elevator went up and up, Tony unconsciously started to rub his hand along Peter’s arm. He stifled a laugh when he felt Peter’s hair brush his neck. He looked down to see that Peter had snuggled his head into his neck more and he smiled lightly at that. 

Tony had to admit that Peter could almost be a mini- him. It was comforting to think about and he vowed to be the best ‘really older brother’, who could act young, there ever was. 

Everyone turned to stare at him as he exited the elevator and gently placed Peter on the unoccupied part of the couch. 

“He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping.” Bruce commented with a sad smile. 

“My thoughts exactly.” Steve and Tony said simultaneously. They smiled at each other and then turned their attention back to Peter. 

“I figured he could sleep out here tonight and tomorrow I could set up a room for him.” Tony suggested. 

“Good idea. Why don’t we all call it a night and let Peter sleep in peace.” Bruce got up and started to make his way towards his room. Everyone nodded in agreement and all went their separate ways to their own room. Tony of course went to the lab, but surprisingly only stayed for an hour before finding his way to his own room. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Peter woke up he sighed in contentment. He felt like he was on a floating cloud. When he looked around he saw that he was in Stark tower on a very very nice couch. The couch was comfier than his own bed back home! 

The strange thing is that he remembered falling asleep in the limo, but he’s pretty sure he didn’t walk in here himself. Peter blushed in embarrassment at the thought that the Tony Stark probably carried him up here. 

Peaking over the edge of the couch Peter saw Steve and Bruce Banner sitting at the island eating breakfast. Well Steve was eating, but Bruce was just sipping some coffee. Peter honestly didn’t understand how people could just survive off coffee in the morning, he needed a full belly for the day to actually start. 

He made his way over to see if there was anything that he liked. Steve smiled at him as he came over and offered to fix him up a plate. Peter, not being in the speaking mood, nodded. 

It only took about two minutes for Steve to fix him up a plate of tater tots, sausage and an omelet. He grabbed the nearest set of utensils and started digging in. Of course the utensils were dull...

It turned out to be one of the best breakfasts he’s ever had. Typically he just grabbed a bar on the way out since he always had to race out of the house so he wouldn’t be late. 

“Hey kid you wanna check out my awesome shooting range?” Clint asked from the vent on top of the fridge. 

“Uh… sure, but I’m not travelling by vent. What floor?” Peter asked as he washed his now clean plate. 

“Boo you’re no fun. Fifty seven. See you there.” With that Clint closed up the vent and disappeared from sight. 

“Thanks for breakfast it was good.” Peter waved nodded at Bruce and Steve as he pressed the close doors button on the elevator. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Bruce I’m honestly lost. I’m afraid to talk to him in fear of saying something that will make him even sadder than he already is.” Steve sighed as he heard the elevator start to move. 

“To be honest we may need to take him to that level so he’ll end up telling us about the cause for his suicidal thoughts. There is always a main thing that tends to consume people’s thoughts that bring them to the brink.” Bruce’s voice got really soft and he started tearing up a bit. 

Steve got up from his seat and hugged Bruce. He knew that Bruce didn’t really like physical contact but in this moment he didn’t care. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“So have you ever shot a bow before?” This was the first thing Clint asked as Peter emerged from the elevator. 

“I’d rather just watch. I had a bad experience the last time I tried.” Peter admitted. 

“You can’t leave me hanging! What happened!?” Clint asked eagerly. 

“Ugh fine! My Aunt signed me up for lessons and so he instructed me on form and what not and then told me to shoot. He was standing to the side, pretty far as well, from the target. I shot and he didn’t have enough time to react. I impaled his leg with the arrow…” Peter trailed off and looked anywhere but at the talented archer. 

“Well one that guys is an idiot. You’re never supposed to shoot when someone is down range. He should have been standing behind you! Second that is fucking hilarious!” Clint held up his hand for a high five. 

Peter looked at it for a good five second before complying. 

“Watch a master at work.” 

Clint grabbed one of the many bows lined up on the far wall. He made his way back over to Peter and pointed the bow towards the target, but looked the other way. He faked wobbled his arms as if the bow was too heavy for him, but then steadied out. He shot as soon as he felt comfortable and when Peter looked at the target the arrows was in the dead center of the bullseye. 

“I’ll admit I’m a little impressed.” 

“Only a little! Are you kidding?!” Clint was obviously outraged. 

Clint spent the next thirty minutes showing off to Peter, who had to admit it was fun. This was probably the best time he’s had since… He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. It wouldn’t lead to anywhere pretty…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to thank anyone who has read this story :) I appreciate it and I love seeing that people are interested in it. Thanks for reviewing and leaving kudos to all who do  
> ~ShadpwinthwKnight


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my almost year long retreat- possibly a year, but I apologize. I'm going to continue transferring my stories from fanficiton.net over to here. Once I finally get all the chapters transferred I can get back to writing new chapters. I wrote both this and worthy a while ago, but I will post what I have already written and then continue from there. I'm going to also go back through and fix any grammar mistakes.   
> ~Shadow

Peter honestly had a good time hanging out with Clint and by hanging out with Clint he meant watching Clint kick ass with a bow. He thought about some articles he remembers reading that stated Hawkeye wasn’t really needed in the Avengers, but the people who wrote them obviously haven’t seen the dude work. Clint’s arrow work is legendary and Peter would never say this outloud in fear of inflating Clint’s ego, but they guy was definitely the best in the world with a bow. Now thinking about it, the dude probably already knows it. 

As soon as he hit the elevator and overwhelming sense of loneliness and sadness consumed him. He could faintly hear Gwen’s laughter and he could have sworn he could smell her. It was as if she was in the elevator in him. He could feel the tears streaming down his face, he couldn’t remember when he started crying. As the elevator opened he dashed into the closest room, since he didn’t have one to himself yet. He didn’t want the others to see him like this, frankly he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Steve jumped off the couch ready to run when he saw Peter sprint out of the elevator. As he watched Peter, he realized that the young boy ran into his room. 

“Steve, I think he’d like to be alone. He probably didn’t want anyone to see, but he was crying.” Bruce gently guided Steve to sit back down. 

“Seeing him go into Steve’s room reminded me that I need start preparing a room for him. I’ll see you guys later and update me on the kid if anything happens.” Tony made his way down the hall. Natasha observed how he paused at Steve’s door looking as if he wanted to barge in and comfort Peter. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Peter started pacing the room as soon as he entered. Unfortunately he noticed the lack of locks on the doors, but noted that there was a lock on the bathroom door which made no sense to him. If they plan on following him in here he would hide in the bathroom.

He wanted to just flop on the bed and cry to his heart’s content, but he didn’t want to get the pillows wet since this wasn’t his room. Then an onslaught of thoughts and memories of Gwen made him crumble to the floor. He tried to block them, but they were too strong. Gwen had been the best thing to happen in his life for a while and then he had to go and lose her. All Peter could think about was how it was his fault Gwen died. She barely got to live and it was all because of his foolish and childish thought that he could be a hero. All it did was bring him pain. Gwen deserved to live and he deserved to die. 

He tried to muffle his sobbing by shoving his face into his hands, but it really made no difference. The one thing he knew was that he had to stop the memories. 

He found his way to the bathroom and started rummaging through the drawers until he found what he wanted. He held the razor blade in his hand and stared for a bit. As another thought of Gwen penetrated his mind he wasted no more time. He rolled up the sleeve of his shirt and brought the razor to his wrist. He just let it sit there thinking there had to be another way to stop the memories, but he couldn’t think straight at the moment. He quickly swiped the blade across his wrist. 

He felt the pain and focused on it. Surprisingly focusing his attention on the pain made thoughts of Gwen irrelevant. He swiped three more times before the door was blown off its hinges. Peter covered his face and the cuts as some chunks of door flew towards him. 

Once everything had settled Peter saw Steve, Tony and Bruce around the door entrance with panicked looks on their faces. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Tony yelled and snatched the razor away from Peter. Peter shrunk back from the volume of Tony’s voice. 

Bruce gave Tony a look before making his way next to Peter and gently taking his hand off the cuts. “Why?” 

Peter didn’t reply, he just started crying harder and buried his head into Bruce’s neck. Bruce, being the awkward guy he is, hugged him with one arm. Two hugs in two days was a record for him. 

“We want to help, but you’re going to have to talk to us son.” Steve said barely above a whisper. 

“I- uh” *sniffle* “I just needed to take away the sadness.” Peter uttered out through tears. 

“Let’s get you bandaged up.” Bruce gently grabbed Peter’s wrist as Peter stepped out of the hug. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once Peter and Bruce were in Bruce’s room Tony let out a heavy sigh. “I wish I could snap my fingers and he would feel better.” 

“If that were the case life would be easy because everyone could just snap away their problems.” Steve always the wise one. 

“Some people deserve an easy and happy life and that kid is one of them.” 

“Agreed.” 

“I’m marking this day on the calendar. The day that Tony Stark and Steve Rogers actually agree on something. It’ll become a national holiday.” Clint poked his head out of a vent. 

“Shut it Legolas. Go bother Natasha!” Tony barked. 

Clint rolled his eyes and saluted Steve before leaving. 

“Well I trust that Bruce has this covered so I’m going to go out for my midday run.” Steve commented, making his way towards his room.

“Don’t you want to be here when they come out?”

“I’m pretty sure less people will be better for Peter.” Steve said as he entered his room.

“You’re probably right.” 

“Twice in one day that’s…”

“Shut it before I lock you in the vents!” Tony interrupted Clint before he could finish his side remark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to post more chapters today as well. I have at least 15 more chapters of this story written so over the next few days I'll be uploading them   
> I apologize for being gone so long. School-wise, this year has taken it's toll on me and other personal things have gotten in the way.   
> ~Shadow


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if people are still interested, but I'll post chapters anyways!  
> ~Shadow

Bruce grabbed the nearest towel in his bathroom and instructed Peter to sit down on the closed toilet. He noted how Peter couldn’t seem to sit still, the kid was bouncing his leg as if his life depended on it. Bruce gently applied the towel to the four cuts on Peter’s left wrist, he let up a little when Peter winced. 

“Sorry.” Bruce didn’t want to hurt him further. 

“It’s okay. It’s my fault we’re in this position anyways. Everything is always my fault…” Peter trailed off and Bruce saw tears gathering. 

“Hey, don’t cry. Everything is going to be all right and don’t say things like that, it’s not true. You strike me as the person to blame yourself even if things aren’t in your control.” 

Peter chose to stay quiet so that Bruce wouldn’t hate him, there were too many failures on his part. 

“Let’s take a look.” Bruce gently removed the towel and noticed the cuts were not bleeding anymore. He hated seeing someone so young feel the need to hurt themselves. The cuts were probably going to scar. He took some rubbing alcohol out of his first aid kit that he keeps under the sink and applied it to the cuts. Peter hissed in response, not prepared for the pain. 

“Sorry, forgot to warn you.” After determining that the cuts were thoroughly clean he applied antibiotics and placed some bandages over the cuts. He used two big bandages to cover the cuts. For good measure he took some gauze and wrapped it around the bandages and taped it off. 

“How did you guys even know I was uh…” Peter asked, but stopped short since Bruce knew what he was talking about. 

“JARVIS informed us.” 

“Who?” Peter asked incredulously. 

“JARVIS, Tony’s AI system. He basically runs the house.” 

“Do you not find it creepy that he is in the bathroom? I mean I would never pee in this house again or shower for that matter!” 

“He’s not in the bathroom, calm down!” Bruce actually laughed at that. “Tony just has JARVIS warn him if one of us is in danger. Even if the danger is one’s self.” 

Peter looked away at that. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in Bruce’s eyes. 

“Please let us help you. I know you’re probably not in the mood to talk to someone about this, but talking to someone is better than keeping everything bottled up.” Bruce pleaded with Peter. He knew from experience… 

Peter just shook his head and refused to look up. 

“You know you’re not alone.” Peter looked up in surprise at Bruce when he heard that come out of the grownup’s mouth. “I- uh- I tried as well…” 

Peter tried to collect his thoughts. He couldn’t wrap his mind around this for some reason. Bruce had good friends around him, how could he get to this point. The point Peter was at now… 

“I can see your confusion. It was a while ago, recently after I turned into the hulk. I couldn’t take being this monster that just destroyed. I… I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out so I moved on. Surprisingly the Avengers helped me. At first I thought it wasn’t a good idea for me to be there, but I found lifelong friends that I wish I met sooner.” 

Peter took in Bruce’s words and mulled over them. He still couldn’t get past the fact that someone like Bruce Banner could have tried something so vulgar. From what Peter’s seen the guy is quiet, caring, and very nice.

“I… uh I’d like to be alone to think, if that’s okay. I promise not to try anything.” 

“You can stay in my room, but I’m locking the bathroom door so you can’t get in there.” Peter was about to protest, but Bruce gave him a look that shut him up. 

“Come out when you’re ready.” Bruce gave Peter one last nod and then left him to his thoughts. 

Bruce knew from that point on he would do anything to help Peter. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tony bombarded Bruce with questions as soon as he appeared in the common room. “Is he okay? Did he say why? Why did you leave him alone!? What if he tries it again? Can I see him? Where is he?” 

“Tony let him sit!” Natasha scolded from the couch. 

“He’s fine now. I sterilized the cuts and wrapped them up. He’s not ready to talk so I let him be alone to think and don’t give me that look, I locked my bathroom.” 

Tony gave a sigh of relief and looked towards Bruce’s room. Natasha gave him a look that clearly said he better not. 

“I’m sorry guys. This is my fault, if I locked my bathroom in the first place…” Steve started, but was quickly interrupted by Clint. 

“Dude shut up. There is no way that you could have known he would do something like this. None of us did. None of this blaming yourself, you got it?” Clint bursted, he hated how much responsibility Steve took upon himself. 

Steve just nodded at Clint and sighed. 

“Wow, Clint actually said something useful.” Tony received a smack to the back of the head from Natasha and received a glare from Clint.

“I told him that I was in his position before, but I was able to get over it.” Bruce said quietly, bringing back the serious atmosphere.

Tony got up and hugged Bruce. “You’ll never be in that place ever again, you have us now.”

“That’s what I told Peter.” Bruce laughed and actually returned Tony’s hug, squeezing as much as Tony was. 

Unbeknownst to the Avengers Peter had come to join them, but watched their interaction instead when he heard them talking about him. He actually smiled for Bruce because he did have a group of friends there to support him. This was his first genuine smile in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely need to go back through and edit for grammar, but I'll do that once I'm all caught up :)   
> ~Shadow


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading some of these chapters and cringe haha   
> I wrote these over two years ago, but as I said before, I'm going to post until this story is caught up. Then, I'll go through and fine tune them.  
> ~Shadow

Peter was going to go take a nap instead of joining them, but he remembered the he was still roomless so he had no choice. He felt like he was intruding on Bruce’s moment, but they all smiled at him when they saw him. 

“I… uh I was going to take a nap, but I still don’t have a room so…” Peter knew that probably sounded rude, but he was too drained to care. 

“But I wanted to show you my lab!” Tony whined. Natasha rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe later? Sorry, I’m very tired for some reason.” Peter suggested awkwardly.

“Fine.” Tony huffed. “Oh yes! I can show you your awesome room! Follow me.” 

“Is he usually like this?” Peter asked once Tony started walking down the hall.

“Only on days that end in y.” Clint commented with a smirk. 

Peter shook his head a Clint’s humor and went to catch up to Tony since knowing the way to his room is pretty important. 

When he caught up and finally made it to his room all he could do was stare. I mean he has been in the rooms before, but knowing that this was “his” room made it all the more special. This was a place just for him and honestly if there was a fridge in here he would never have to leave. 

“I take it you like it?” Tony asked with a chuckle, obviously noticing Peter’s entranced facial expression. 

“I mean it’s okay.” Peter tried to play it off. 

“Admit it that this room is the awesomist.”

“One awesomist is even a word and two no.” 

“Stop being difficult and go jump on the bed like you’re dying to do.” 

Peter didn’t need any more encouragement and climb on the enormous bed. He was going to jump, but his head brushed the pillow and he couldn’t resist resting on it. He was out like a light as soon as his head hit it. 

Tony smiled when he realized that Peter fell asleep. He tiptoed away from the doorway, not that it mattered because Peter was definitely out for the count. 

He made his way back to the common area and found Steve teaching Thor about the toaster. Steve was moving along fast with learning the technologies of the 21st century. He plans on trying to teach Steve about smartphones next and from there how to work a computer. 

“Kid fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.” Tony informed them as he grabbed some coffee. 

“It’s no wonder either. Sobbing requires extra breathing, sometimes coming in gasps and also he had strong emotional reactions, it's no wonder he’s exhausted.” Bruce explained from his chair at the island. 

“Will the young boy be okay?” Thor asked as he ate his eighth poptart of that morning. 

“He’s just tired Thor. Nothing a nap can’t cure.” Clint snorted. Thor still looked confused, but nodded anyways. 

“So I’m thinking movie night tonight.” Tony casually threw out to the group. 

“Yes! I love that delicious corn of pop!” Thor boomed.

“Whose turn is it to pick the movies?” Natasha asked. 

“Well actually when I went to Blockbuster the guy recommended “It’s kind of a funny story.” Steve commented. 

“What? Steve are you serious! Do you know what it’s about?” When Steve shook his head Tony continued his rant, “It follows a kid who checks himself into a hospital because he said he wanted to kill himself! So no!” 

“Sorry, I didn’t know.” Steve looked guilty. 

With a look from Natasha Tony apologized for yelling at Steve. 

“Why not let Peter choose the movies?” Bruce asked and everyone agreed. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up in the very comfortable bed. He looked at the clock and was astounded to see that it was six, three hours had gone by. He honestly thought that he would be asleep for half an hour, an hour max. I guess he was more tired than he thought. 

As he made his way into the common area he could hear the television on and heard laughter. He found all of the Avengers lounging on the couch laughing at a show. 

“Yes Peter you’re here! Check out this show! We just discovered it and it is priceless!” Clint managed to get out between laughs. 

“What is it called?” Peter asked as he sat down next to Bruce.

“Impractical jokers! Even Steve is laughing at some things!” Tony said as he nudged Steve’s arm, who in return smiled at him. 

“Oh I’ve heard of it. I use to watch it all the time, but my Aunt saw it once and she thought it was stupid so she wouldn’t let me watch it. I forgot about it until now.” Peter remembered how Aunt May stormed in after hearing a comment on the television and immediately shut it off and told him to never turn that on again. It must have been something sexual or degrading, but Peter honestly couldn’t remember. 

“Well here you can watch whatever your heart desires.” Tony said. 

Peter turned quiet after that because all his heart desired was Gwen. He could feel the tears coming, but he didn’t want to cry in front of them again. He had already cried too much today… 

Unfortunately for Peter, Bruce had caught the tears gathering and asked him if everything was okay. 

He shook his head and bolted back to his room. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Tony!” Natasha hissed. 

“It wasn’t my fault!” Tony defended himself

“He reacted to what you said.” Clint pointed out. 

“Maybe he lost someone that was dear to his heart. Maybe a significant other?” Bruce inferred. 

“I think you’re onto something there Doc. I’m going to the lab to look into that, want to join?” Tony asked Bruce as he got off the couch. 

Bruce nodded and followed Tony. Hopefully this will lead them in the right direction…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still about 13 more chapters to post to be caught up- be on the look out for more updates   
> ~Shadow


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely need to go through and reread this and fix things. I remember when I was writing this though :) throwback   
> ~Shadow

Tony wouldn’t admit this to the others, but he felt really bad about causing Peter to run off. All he was trying to do was make Peter like it at the tower since they kind of forced him to stay here. It really hit him when Bruce and he walked by the hallway to get to the elevator and they heard Peter sobbing. 

Bruce snapped his fingers in front of Tony’s face, “Tony snap out of it! Concentrate!” 

“Wha- oh… Sorry. It’s just that I feel really bad. I mean you heard him crying!” Tony exclaimed. 

“No one blames you. It could have been any of us that said something to set him off.” 

“But of course it had to be me.” Tony sighed. 

“Even though it hurt Peter, it does bring us closer to figuring out why he is feeling this way.” 

“I know, but I hate seeing him like that.”

“Woah, is this Tony Stark actually caring?” Bruce teased. 

“How come you only get snarky with me? Steve and Thor are gold mines when it comes to that!” 

“You’re the one that wanted me to let out my snarky side.” Bruce had the most innocent look on his face.

“That doesn’t mean target me!” Bruce just rolled his eyes

“Come on, lets get back on track.” 

“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over.” Tony vowed. 

“I think we found his trigger: Gwen Stacy. They’ve been together for a while until just recently she died in the battle between Spider-Man and The Green Goblin. Spider-Man tried to save her, but he couldn’t. It also doesn’t help that he lost his Uncle not too long ago in a shooting, the Uncle died in his arms.” 

“We should tell the rest of the team.” Tony said solemnly.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When the team heard what they found they sat in stunned silence. They have all dealt with loss, but Peter is just a kid. Two people who he was really close with are now gone. That is tough to deal with and the fact that he lost his parents at a younger age, Peter has dealt with great loss. 

They all whipped their heads towards the hallway when they heard a door opening. 

Peter froze as he entered the common room and saw them all staring. Not having the heart to face them yet he beelined for the kitchen to grab some juice. 

“Guys good job we’re scaring him.” He heard Natasha scream whisper. 

“Hey Peter could you come in here once you’re done in there?” Bruce asked politely. 

“Uh… Yeah sure.” Peter chugged his juice deciding he might as well get this talk that he knew was coming out of the way.

Peter sat down next to Bruce on the couch and avoided eye contact with everyone. 

“Well I just want to apologize to start off.” Tony interrupted the silence. 

“What? No! I’m sorry. You were just trying to be hospitable.” Peter said in a blur. 

“Well we want to talk about why you ran off… Do you think you could handle that?” Bruce asked in a soft tone. 

“I… uh….” Peter could feel the tears gathering as he stuttered. 

“We are just trying to help and having someone to talk to can make a big difference. That’s what we are there for. We’ve all had some rough times, but having each other has made a big difference.” Clint piped up from his perch on the couch opposite of Peter and Bruce. 

Peter looked around and saw all of their caring faces and he could feel the words coming to the tip of his mouth. 

“Also… we know about Gwen.” Bruce said slowly. 

Peter whipped his head to face Bruce and his jaw dropped a little. He wasn’t sure if he should be mad at them for prying into his life or touched that they do seem to care about him. 

“I- she… It was my fault!” Peter finally sobbed out and put his head in his hands. 

“Why do you think that? She past away during the fight between Spider-Man and The Green Goblin.” Tony asked confused. 

At that Peter just started sobbing harder and drew his knees into himself. Bruce shot Tony a look. 

“Peter you couldn’t do anything because you weren’t there. Stop blaming yourself. If anything Spider-Man was the only one able to save her and he already had his hands full.” 

“Speaking of Spider-Man, he hasn’t made an appearance in a while.” Tony commented, getting off track. 

“Maybe that’s for the best.” Peter managed to choke out. 

“I think he is a great and I hope he is okay. He does a great service to the city, even if the cops don’t agree which is big coming from me.” Steve commented about the vigilante. 

“Harbor bad feelings towards the guy?” Natasha asked. 

Peter just shrugged. 

“Peter, she wouldn’t want you to live like this. She would’ve wanted you to be happy and live your life to the fullest.” 

“How do you know what she would have wanted!?” Peter shouted as he leaped off the couch. 

“Son, calm down. I know how you’re feeling. Well not exactly, but I woke up seventy years later to learn everyone I knew and was close to was gone. I missed out on a chance to have a life with this beautiful woman, but I know that I needed to move on or I would be living in the past. Once you accept this life becomes easier and having people around you really helps.” 

“She was my life though. I was the happiest when I was with her. How do I move on from that?” Peter asked, desperate. He sunk to his knees on the plush carpet. 

“The main thing is time. It won’t be easier, but over time things will get better.” Bruce said as he joined Peter on the floor and actually initiated contact by hugging him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post another chapter in a few hours!  
> ~Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> So :D what do you guys think!? I hope you liked it!!! I just had to get the idea down and out there as soon as possible!  
> -ShadowintheKnight  
> P.S. I know it's short- I just want to get a feel how you guys receive this :)


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